On year out... a look back and forward!

Soooooo Close..

So I sorta broke my stall...sorta. Now instead of bouncing back and forth between 183-180 I am bouncing between 179-180. I'll take it. I am now 7 lbs away from being 100 lbs down!

Craziness.....and I am not mad that I haven't hit 172 yet.... because here is the comparison.

Long before surgery and probably close to my biggest of 272...very unhappy.

Me last weekend at 179 lbs!

By the way I went out in public INCLUDING a restaurant and pumping gas like this and didn't even care! hehe

Also, I have some good news. The stressful work situation is now resolved. I moved to a different department at work so the great source of recent stress in my life is more or less gone. I feel even more energetic and like I can concentrate on more important things. Granted...I took a pay cut. But sometimes your sanity is much more important than money. It's fucking priceless thank you.

So if you can't tell roller derby is more or less an obsession of mine. I just love it. It has been helping keep me sane as things had escalated at work. Never underestimate how much better hitting someone can make you feel after a horrible day :) 

Now that I have a bit more focus since my mind isn't preoccupied with work crap, I am starting a workout challenge. You can find it on FB and its the Roller Derby Workout Challenge 2012  . I started late but am doing the workouts and going more with the nutrition guidelines closer to when I was first pre op, except a bit more calories obviously.  

I just finished day 1, and since my practice days are on different days (tomorrow and thu) I swapped the workout days. So today I did the Roller Derby Workout DVD. Ladies, I reccomend this. even if you don't skate or even own a pair, it is an awesome workout. I am feeling the burn. 50 minute workout and it kicked my ass :)  

I am going to be sure to update on my progress through this challenge as I am very excited to see what sort of results I can get out of this, both healthwise as well as what I can bring to my game. This is going to be my first season and I want to be the best I can :)

See ya soon!

Jenn

And then life happened...

Poopiest excuse... I know.   I need to start myself on a schedule again. With everything. I think with all the changes surgery brought into my life I just got swept up by it all.

So for those you that might happen by after all this time of my blog being basically silent, how have you all been?

I am about 40 lbs off from where I want to be...but just cant seem to break out of the 180s. Seriously.

I am not gaining, which is good and I know I am still getting in shape...but nothing...


I'll be honest, I have not been eating perfectly, but I have a strong feeling a lot of this is stress related. I am at roller derby practice 4 hours a week alone and then normally skating over 12 miles in less than 2 hours once a weekend...and that's not the only working out I usually get in either.

I have a strong feeling the stall is stress related...but I think I am going to start tracking my intake again...just to see where I am at.

Work has been...challenging and all too consuming to say the least... I am working on a resolution for that...though I am not sure what it is yet.

I am still doing derby! And I absolutely love it. In fact its something I look forward to  each practice night. That too...tends to eat up a lot of my time... A LOT.....

but it makes me extremely happy...unlike work lol.

I just finished doing my skills test and passed everything but doing 25 laps in 5 minutes. I was only off by 15 seconds though. After that I am seriously considering a week of doing full liquids... maybe it will help break the stall....Thoughts?

Finally I leave you with some fun pics. And a video of my derby team.

Slamaretto Sour, Pebbles Flinchstone, myself (DoubleTap), and T-wrecks. Skating down that bridge was scary and completely exhilarating!

PS. I'm saying "whats your roller derby?" name at about 48 seconds, and you can see me weaving through the other girls at 57 seconds... im in the light blue leggings..

Holy smokes, 7 months and 87 lbs!

Doing a quick video update! I will be resuming posting though shortly :)

More on hair loss and other things...

I have to admit the hair loss is freaking me out a lot more. Most notedly was during and after Saturday's shower. As most of you know I cut my hair short because I expected this to start happening. And as most of your post-ops know, hair generally comes out the most in the shower. Well quite a bit was coming out during that shower. I had to clean the drain, even with my short short hair.

Around my ear and on the sides of my head I think is most noticeable.

While getting ready to go out and doing  my hair I noticed just how easily I can see my scalp on the sides of my head...that really depressed me. I expected and knew about this but it is really sucking and I feel like I am going to go bald...even though I shouldn't actually go bald.

Considering Saturday was the 8 year anniversary of the day my dad died, it wasn't a really good day starting off.

Well it wasn't all terrible. I am now at 206.4lbs. That is something to celebrate even if I still feel like I am not making a lot of headway.

I have been working on pushing up my physical activity too. If you watch my youtube channel you will know, but for those who don't or haven't recently, I started training and conditioning with a local roller derby team.

I am currently a newbie on the Thunder City Derby Sirens team out of Deland. I have to admit it is starting to take over my life and is somewhat of an obsession as of lately. (and a big reason I haven't been online very much at all.

I have practices Tuesday and Thursday  for an hour and a half.

I also bought  this skate package as well as a set of outdoor wheels and as soon as they arrive I plan on doing a lot more skating practice on my own.

Sure-Grip Rebels with Invader plates ...mmm delicious...

Even though since starting I have been making progress, just like with my weight loss, I still feel like I am behind the pack (literally since thats what it's called when you are skating in the group in derby haha).

But I am keeping my chin up and I want to see this through and get to a point where I will be able to actually play.  I am still doing yoga as well since I think it is good to balance me out and also helps with balance and core muscles that I need for roller derby.


What are you up to? How are you moving?

Stepping up the game...

I feel like I am not doing enough...

It is sooo easy to get caught up when things feel like they are dragging and then next thing you know you are not doing very well.

Foodwise I am mostly behaving, but I could do better. I need to cook up other stuff, make things more interesting. I have been so tired that I haven't really wanted to do much cooking.

Speaking of tired, I am pretty sure it had to do with my low levels of Vit D. Got blood test back and that was low. Everything else looked pretty good. Iron was a little low but my multi vitamin has it in it.

Some good news- my A1c came back in normal range... it is not at a diabetic level! so does that mean no more type 2? Who knows, supposedly it is for life, but at the very least I am keeping it in control and not having to take anything for it.

I went and got one of those 7 day pill reminder cases so I don't have the excuse of forgetting my pills when I leave for work. I filled it up for the whole week and leave it in my purse. It's working like a charm and I am getting all my vitamins in now. Hopefully I see an improvement with hair and energy...

Nutritionally- I am doing pretty good...

Physically- I am slacking... I need to start moving my ass...big time. I know I could be doing so much more better if I got in regular exercise. Part of it honestly was the low vit D, because all I wanted to do was sleep. It makes sense because its been so rainy here and I have been working long hours, so very little sun.


But part of it has just been me being lazy... so I am thinking, at least some yoga, as well as toning, and some aerobics. 3 nights a week, more if possible. maybe an hour to an hour and a half of my time on those days.

I am sticking the pin-up photo shoot I bought in front of me like a carrot. I want to look the best I can by end of January so I can do this shoot and feel sexy. I've said before, maybe I can't reach goal, but I can get myself close anyways. thats 6 months away...

Truthfully sometimes I really doubt myself, and I know I need to cut that out. I can get to goal, I can reach a much lower weight (one I have never even seen in my adult life). But sometimes it still feels like a really far off dream. You know how you look around sometimes and see others that have done it, and it's like, could that really be me? I so badly want this. Some days its easier to visualize it than others though. Today is rougher...but I think days like this are what make or break you, they matter most because you have to just push through them and keep going. Other days...like the week I lost a ton of weight  are a cake walk (minus the cake lol). The hard days are what get you to the good days again.

I suppose that is true for life in general and not just the journey of losing weight.

So, how is your day going?

In my face :P

Sometimes a picture can speak volumes more than any words. That is all I have to say today :)

In Seattle, 1 month before surgery and 265 lbs

Yesterday, 213.2 lbs

Baldy

Well... not really... but oh man, as soon as I hit 3 months out, I feel like I am shedding almost as much as my dog. She shed a lot btw. We could reconstruct several dogs out of the shed fur we are always cleaning up.

But back to me... I can't SEE the difference in my hair's thickness, but I know it's comeing out because its on my shoulders, and when I wash my hair I have a decent amount that comes off in my hands. :(

I was prepping for this but it's still a little depressing. I'll get over it though. My weight is still dropping pretty well this past week and still going. I am now down to 213.2lbs! getting close to 200!

I have a dr's appt tomorrow and plan to go get my labs done following the appt. Hopefully things look good.

Anyways... short update for now... :)

A new low...

My stall broke! Wahoo!

Im sitting pretty at 214.8 lbs today and dropping! So far about 6 lbs gone just this week. 3 months since surgery as of yesterday as well! Stalls are always a little scary, but just have to work through them and keep going. I've come to the realization that sometimes my body likes to do this.


Regardless of how well I am eating or exercising it still is reminding me that it is the head general... and it decides when...

Actual recreation of my weight loss process

Hold it....

Hold it.....

And GO! Charge!


So yea... I'll be keeping on doing what I am doing.  Watch my intake, get my butt moving...keep on going.

Now I haven't yet made a list of things I want to do when I reach certain goals...but now I have to say I have good reason to keep myself focused.

Yesterday on groupon I happened across this. That's right... 20 bucks for a pin-up/boudoir photo session ($100 value). I bought that groupon yesterday and I have until Feb 12, 2012 to use it. Now... obviously I cannot force myself to be down to my goal weight by then...though anything IS possible. But I can work hard and get my body in the best shape I can before then and have a fabulously sexy photo session.

If you haven't guessed by my banner, I absolutely love vintage looking pin-ups. My kitchen is red white and black with b&w framed postcards of betty page everywhere. So when I started on this journey I had decided that one way I would celebrate goal is by getting pin-up photos of myself. But you know what. I am going to celebrate me even when I am not at goal yet because I deserve it.

I think if I stick to it, regardless of if I am at my magical goal weight yet, I am going to have some sexy ass photos of myself.

Yoga Bugs, Hippies, Zombies, and RumpShakers

Something stranged happened this week at work. It wasn't any more stressful than usual.But something in me  

CAN'T WAIT FOR YOGA TOMORROW!

Seriously. Andrea and I are talking about doing 2 classes tomorrow instead of just the one. The second class is a bit more easy going. (It's called Big Beautiful Yoga and is aimed more towards plus-sized ladies and is a bit more gentle on you).

Also, I may have bought some new yoga gear. Like these tanks I found on clearance at target...

And a pretty purple yoga mat with a lotus flower on it :) As well as a carrying strappy thing for it :).

You have to have a mat for class and I have committed to going to these regularly now so I bought a premium one that was a bit thicker. I had a cheaper one from walmart but it ripped :(

Also I may be upgrading to a mat bag, because...it will be convenient to carry my things around  in when we go to this event next month!

Rasa-Lila, which can be freely translated from Sanskrit into “the dance of love”, has all the makings of a nationally sought after yoga and wellness festival. Like some of its older and more seasoned festival counterparts, Rasa-Lila offers festival goers a complete one-day retreat package in a breathtaking and engaging natural setting.

Yoga - 11 different styles
Music & Entertainment - 9 musical acts
Meditation & Pranayama
Lectures & Worksops - 20
Kids Festival
Vendors - 60 local artist, restaurants and wellness specialists



I have been toying with getting into doing 5k's again. Really I only ever did one, but it was fun. I just am frugal and don't like to spend the money :( However, if this comes to Orlando... I am doing it...and training hardcore for it.

A zombie infested 5k obstacle course!!!!!!!

For those that don't know... I love everything zombie. My car is affectionately known as The Zombie Hunter and has a sticker on the back that reads "zombie outbreak response vehicle"

I'm sure I'd be amusing to watch trying to get through this 5k as I am so easily startled in everyday situations. 

Seriously the hubby can scare me so bad I shriek just by staring at me while I do my makeup in the mirror (if I didn't realize he was standing there).

He enjoys doing this regularly too. 

Me being chased by zombies that pop out of the woods at me would be hilarious for any spectator.

You know... I have noticed since I can't obsess over food anymore (seriously it's like a switch was shut off when my surgery was done) I find that I am throwing myself head long into other endeavors such as the yoga and writing and I love it. Most of them are healthy....maybe except my increased amount of time playing video games (but hey, that can be a good stress reliever too!)

One good video game I am doing is Dance Central on the Kinect. Some of the dances aren't toooo challenging or intense, but as you move down the song list and bump up the difficulty you can give yourself a decent aerobic workout!.Also you can put on workout mode and it estimates time dancing and calories burned.

Here are vids of people dancing to my 3 of my fave songs to dance to on it (and in my opinion they give GREAT workouts!

Also the video game guy is my favorite character to dance with hehehe. I <3 emo boys :)

LapDance-N.E.R.D.



RumpShaker



and also


Push it



You will NOT  see ME filming myself doing these on my youtube channel though....sorry kids :)

Anyways.. I suppose that is all today. Feeling better now that I am getting in working out. Scale is sort of moving. Though I am not updating til it gets back below 219.8 since that was what I had last recorded (I think).

Have a great weekend! I'll try to do a video update at some point!

Paused

Things have been very busy at work, and just with me in general.  All good things though.I meant to do a video update this weekend but didn't get around to it. Feeling a bit under the weather this week.

I really don't have too much to talk about. My weight isn't budging for the last couple weeks which makes me a little grumpy... but I am paying more attention to my protein, as well as trying to start doing exercise regularly.

I started a yoga class on Saturday mornings. Its basic Hatha yoga and I loved it. My muscles were a little sore after, but in a good way. One of my best friends, Andrea, had been asking me to go with her and I am glad I finally did. I'll be definitely going regularly with her.

They also are trying out a bollywood dance class and I may go to that to check it out. I love dance classes and loving watching bollywood type dancing. Ive previously taken belly dancing classes and loved that. While still in school I did ballet, hip hop and tap. Dance has always been a love of mine. In fact one of the things I am thinking of doing closer to goal is a burlesque dance class.

Also, if you saw my last video you  know I have gotten back to pursuing a career as a writer. Well I finally finished my first draft of my debut novel AND am currently revising it before I hand it over to two beta readers (think like beta testers). If you are curious and dont mind my shameless self promotion, you should check out my author blog. www.midtown-underground.com.

In case you are curious about what I am writing  here is the blurb from the back cover and the front of the book cover.

A year ago, Dillan witnessed Jamie-her fiance, being murdered.
But now, she is about to discover a secret he had been keeping from her.
A twin brother named Trey.
But when his estranged brother knocks on her door one evening she starts to wonder what else was kept from her.  Does Trey know more than he is letting on?

Sometimes the truth hurts.

In Dillan's case, it could kill her.






So yep... done self-promoting, but if you all are interested definitely consider following that blog. I also post episodes of another story (based in the same ficitional city of Midtown), I am picking it back up this week.


See? I am a busy bee.


Doing my best not to be grumpy about the "pause" in my weight loss progress though I imagine others feel scared that they woke up and the weight won't resume disappearing. And I have been guilty of NOT getting in physical activity like I should be. I need to create a schedule, post it somewhere and just stick with it. I like working out too. Just have been letting being a grump get the best of me (hence my silence here too). At least yoga is one step in the right direction.

Fitty & Click'n

First and foremost.....

I hit my first goal! 50 lbs down from my highest weight of 272!

That's right people... FITTY!

Secondly.... I got my first order of CLICK!

Holy crap...I love it.

I used my knock off bullet blender (its called a rocket lol) and made myself a plain mocha frappe. Just ice, water, and two scoops.

SOOOOOO GOOD! Seriously. And no...the all caps is not from me drinking caffeine... I swear lol.

I love that it isn't too sweet, its just enough sweetness mixed with the taste of expresso. I cannot wait to try out some recipes as well as come up with my own .

Being a former Starbucks Frappe addict, this a perfect match for me in the mornings. I have already subscribed so that I get enough to have 1 in the morning all month. 

The rest of my protein I have been getting in via actual food, but mornings I prefer protein drinks. Except I couldn't find anything I like.

Problem solved hehehe.

Because I have slacked so hard this week...

I've updated pics, vlog AND measurements!

Here we go!

And for even more excitment!

And finally....

So there... :P

HAPPY SUNDAY!

2 month Surgiversary!

So today is my 2 month surgiversary! Time has just flown by and I am amazed.

Today as I sit here I am down to 225.2!!!!

Thats 40lbs down from my weight before i started my pre op diet!

over 46 lbs down from my hightest (so near 50 i can smell it!)

Tonight after grocery shopping is going to be a vlog as well as In progress pics and measuring to mark the occasion!

And then a proper post later in the week to let you all know what else is going on with me...well actually I may just say all that in the next vlog :) Im feeling lazy !

I missed you!

Hey all!

Well I had thought I uploaded a video last weekend but apparently it never loaded. Oh well. I'll just try and get one in this weekend.

My long month of training at my second job is over! As of last night I took my last test and then celebrated with a few fellow classmates via an xbox live party! I am a nerd and I fully admit to that. In a couple more weeks my schedule will be reduced and I should be better able to set up a regular workout schedule and blogging schedule. I miss posting on here regularly. I also want to catch up with all the blogs I follow.

Speaking of I see a couple new followers... if you want to post you blog in the comments I'd love to check out your blogs!!

So is everyone ready for the long weekend? My nephew is going to be over so I am excited to bond with him this weekend. Other than that I plan to relax a little. Get in some reading, video gaming and relaxing.

Also... I am no officially below 230!

YAY!

Happy 4th indeed!

Busy Bee

Sorry my blog has grown a bit quite as of lately. This past 2 weeks I have been doing both jobs full time as well as studying for my Life Insurance exam. (My day job needed me to have it). Luckily I passed the exam so that is at least one thing I can breathe easier about. Training for the second job has been quite grueling, but still enjoyable. I think it is going to be a good part time job for me. I have this week and next week left of training, then the 2 weeks after that is more on the job training (we take calls, they critique etc). After that I will be able to drop my hours hopefully to about 25 a week (though possibly as much as 35).

My weight loss is going well and I continue to see differences in my body. My boobs have shrunk and I can wear some of my smaller bras :). My clothes are getting baggy but I am still super hesitant to buy anything new. I did find a pair of dark blue pants for work at good will (size 18 and a lil stretchy). So no burning of the pants just yet since I still need smaller black pants.

Dietwise I have mostly been behaving. My nieces bday was yesterday and I will admit I had a little bit of ice cream cake. Mainly just the strawberry ice cream and some frosting...I left the actual cake part. It was yummy, no issue and I didn't want any more. Today is back on the straight and narrow, but I don't feel bad about the cake. The rest of my choices were good at my aunts. And guess what? I am now down to 234!!!!

Two more pounds and I will be 40 down from my highest weight! And now... I feel like I can see onederland on the horizon. I was hoping to be under 200 by my birthday in late November, but now I have a feeling I should aim for even less. Maybe 170? That would be the best birthday every. I am not pinning myself to it, but man if I do it I will have lost over 100 lbs total by my birthday. Either way as long as I keep going in the right direction I will be a happy girl.

Unfortunately I havent been exercising like I've wanted to...but working so many hours all I want to do is relax on the weekend. I think once I hit my schedule for that its supposed to be when I start taking calls, it will be easier. Sure I don't get any days off work (if I dont work one job I am working at the other etc). But at least I only have 3 potential days that are going to be extremely long. Out of the rest I am sure I can find time to workout.

Well that's all for now. Not much else going on in my busy little world but I wanted to check in with everyone!

My 1 month Surgiversary!

Hey guys! I have been busy all week, but yesterday was my 1 month surgiversary! Check out my vlog!

Pants on fire!

No... I am not a liar. However as a joke, pre op I did say that I planned for my work pants (the one pair that fit) to die a violent and fiery death in our fire pit as soon as they were too big. Reason was the zipper doesnt work right so if I dont have a safety pin on the top the pants unzip themselves. HOWEVER, it also liked to undo the safety pin because they were snug and it would result in getting lil needle jabs on my tummy and on my fingers when trying to reclasp the safety pin.

Well children....it looks like this pair of pants may face their death shortly. I am still wearing a safety pin on them, but it is more to keep them up because they are big on me now lol.

Ironically as much as I hated these pants I now like them, because they truly show just how far I have already come in one month. Also I am tempted to save them as my BEFORE pants. I do have a pair of jeans that would also make good before pants...

so... thoughts? Fiery pants death or no?

Somewhat of a milestone

So the scale agreed with me today. It decided I deserved to see a loss this week. I am down 2.4 lbs this week! Since surgery thats 18.4 lbs down (in 3 weeks! woohoo). Adding in pre op diet thats 23.4 which is awesome! That brings me down past 30 lbs from my highest weight of 272!!!!!

I am feeling pretty good and more encouraged as I head toward week 4.

Now I need to create a Weight Loss Bucket List of sorts. I have yet to make a list of rewards for myself and I feel that though money is tight I can afford to a little something when I hit big goals. I have been meaning to make this list but just haven't gotten around to it.

Any ideas?

Evil Scales

My scale comes out of hiding, tonight while I sleep. Tomorrow morning is the showdown. 3 weeks post op and I have no idea what to expect from that vile creature.

I can tell you I have been following my post op plan! I have determination and I refuse to waiver. Ive started working out. In fact I have been working out everyday for the last week.

Yet still the fear of getting on my scale tomorrow is there. I think we get used to seeing the number go up and up and up and feeling helpless as we watch it do so, that when we do actually start losing weight, we expect at some point the scale to start going back up, even if we are doing everything we are supposed to make it go down.

So I guess we will see what happens tomorrow. All I can do is hope for a little bit of a loss. I'd love to say I am in the 230's tomorrow but I have a feeling that may be wishful thinking. The last few days I have just felt fat. I know I have lost and I know some things are fitting looser but I guess I don't feel smaller.