Soooooo Close..

So I sorta broke my stall...sorta. Now instead of bouncing back and forth between 183-180 I am bouncing between 179-180. I'll take it. I am now 7 lbs away from being 100 lbs down!

Craziness.....and I am not mad that I haven't hit 172 yet.... because here is the comparison.

Long before surgery and probably close to my biggest of 272...very unhappy.

Me last weekend at 179 lbs!

By the way I went out in public INCLUDING a restaurant and pumping gas like this and didn't even care! hehe

Also, I have some good news. The stressful work situation is now resolved. I moved to a different department at work so the great source of recent stress in my life is more or less gone. I feel even more energetic and like I can concentrate on more important things. Granted...I took a pay cut. But sometimes your sanity is much more important than money. It's fucking priceless thank you.

So if you can't tell roller derby is more or less an obsession of mine. I just love it. It has been helping keep me sane as things had escalated at work. Never underestimate how much better hitting someone can make you feel after a horrible day :) 

Now that I have a bit more focus since my mind isn't preoccupied with work crap, I am starting a workout challenge. You can find it on FB and its the Roller Derby Workout Challenge 2012  . I started late but am doing the workouts and going more with the nutrition guidelines closer to when I was first pre op, except a bit more calories obviously.  

I just finished day 1, and since my practice days are on different days (tomorrow and thu) I swapped the workout days. So today I did the Roller Derby Workout DVD. Ladies, I reccomend this. even if you don't skate or even own a pair, it is an awesome workout. I am feeling the burn. 50 minute workout and it kicked my ass :)  

I am going to be sure to update on my progress through this challenge as I am very excited to see what sort of results I can get out of this, both healthwise as well as what I can bring to my game. This is going to be my first season and I want to be the best I can :)

See ya soon!

Jenn

And then life happened...

Poopiest excuse... I know.   I need to start myself on a schedule again. With everything. I think with all the changes surgery brought into my life I just got swept up by it all.

So for those you that might happen by after all this time of my blog being basically silent, how have you all been?

I am about 40 lbs off from where I want to be...but just cant seem to break out of the 180s. Seriously.

I am not gaining, which is good and I know I am still getting in shape...but nothing...


I'll be honest, I have not been eating perfectly, but I have a strong feeling a lot of this is stress related. I am at roller derby practice 4 hours a week alone and then normally skating over 12 miles in less than 2 hours once a weekend...and that's not the only working out I usually get in either.

I have a strong feeling the stall is stress related...but I think I am going to start tracking my intake again...just to see where I am at.

Work has been...challenging and all too consuming to say the least... I am working on a resolution for that...though I am not sure what it is yet.

I am still doing derby! And I absolutely love it. In fact its something I look forward to  each practice night. That too...tends to eat up a lot of my time... A LOT.....

but it makes me extremely happy...unlike work lol.

I just finished doing my skills test and passed everything but doing 25 laps in 5 minutes. I was only off by 15 seconds though. After that I am seriously considering a week of doing full liquids... maybe it will help break the stall....Thoughts?

Finally I leave you with some fun pics. And a video of my derby team.

Slamaretto Sour, Pebbles Flinchstone, myself (DoubleTap), and T-wrecks. Skating down that bridge was scary and completely exhilarating!

PS. I'm saying "whats your roller derby?" name at about 48 seconds, and you can see me weaving through the other girls at 57 seconds... im in the light blue leggings..

More on hair loss and other things...

I have to admit the hair loss is freaking me out a lot more. Most notedly was during and after Saturday's shower. As most of you know I cut my hair short because I expected this to start happening. And as most of your post-ops know, hair generally comes out the most in the shower. Well quite a bit was coming out during that shower. I had to clean the drain, even with my short short hair.

Around my ear and on the sides of my head I think is most noticeable.

While getting ready to go out and doing  my hair I noticed just how easily I can see my scalp on the sides of my head...that really depressed me. I expected and knew about this but it is really sucking and I feel like I am going to go bald...even though I shouldn't actually go bald.

Considering Saturday was the 8 year anniversary of the day my dad died, it wasn't a really good day starting off.

Well it wasn't all terrible. I am now at 206.4lbs. That is something to celebrate even if I still feel like I am not making a lot of headway.

I have been working on pushing up my physical activity too. If you watch my youtube channel you will know, but for those who don't or haven't recently, I started training and conditioning with a local roller derby team.

I am currently a newbie on the Thunder City Derby Sirens team out of Deland. I have to admit it is starting to take over my life and is somewhat of an obsession as of lately. (and a big reason I haven't been online very much at all.

I have practices Tuesday and Thursday  for an hour and a half.

I also bought  this skate package as well as a set of outdoor wheels and as soon as they arrive I plan on doing a lot more skating practice on my own.

Sure-Grip Rebels with Invader plates ...mmm delicious...

Even though since starting I have been making progress, just like with my weight loss, I still feel like I am behind the pack (literally since thats what it's called when you are skating in the group in derby haha).

But I am keeping my chin up and I want to see this through and get to a point where I will be able to actually play.  I am still doing yoga as well since I think it is good to balance me out and also helps with balance and core muscles that I need for roller derby.


What are you up to? How are you moving?

Yoga Bugs, Hippies, Zombies, and RumpShakers

Something stranged happened this week at work. It wasn't any more stressful than usual.But something in me  

CAN'T WAIT FOR YOGA TOMORROW!

Seriously. Andrea and I are talking about doing 2 classes tomorrow instead of just the one. The second class is a bit more easy going. (It's called Big Beautiful Yoga and is aimed more towards plus-sized ladies and is a bit more gentle on you).

Also, I may have bought some new yoga gear. Like these tanks I found on clearance at target...

And a pretty purple yoga mat with a lotus flower on it :) As well as a carrying strappy thing for it :).

You have to have a mat for class and I have committed to going to these regularly now so I bought a premium one that was a bit thicker. I had a cheaper one from walmart but it ripped :(

Also I may be upgrading to a mat bag, because...it will be convenient to carry my things around  in when we go to this event next month!

Rasa-Lila, which can be freely translated from Sanskrit into “the dance of love”, has all the makings of a nationally sought after yoga and wellness festival. Like some of its older and more seasoned festival counterparts, Rasa-Lila offers festival goers a complete one-day retreat package in a breathtaking and engaging natural setting.

Yoga - 11 different styles
Music & Entertainment - 9 musical acts
Meditation & Pranayama
Lectures & Worksops - 20
Kids Festival
Vendors - 60 local artist, restaurants and wellness specialists



I have been toying with getting into doing 5k's again. Really I only ever did one, but it was fun. I just am frugal and don't like to spend the money :( However, if this comes to Orlando... I am doing it...and training hardcore for it.

A zombie infested 5k obstacle course!!!!!!!

For those that don't know... I love everything zombie. My car is affectionately known as The Zombie Hunter and has a sticker on the back that reads "zombie outbreak response vehicle"

I'm sure I'd be amusing to watch trying to get through this 5k as I am so easily startled in everyday situations. 

Seriously the hubby can scare me so bad I shriek just by staring at me while I do my makeup in the mirror (if I didn't realize he was standing there).

He enjoys doing this regularly too. 

Me being chased by zombies that pop out of the woods at me would be hilarious for any spectator.

You know... I have noticed since I can't obsess over food anymore (seriously it's like a switch was shut off when my surgery was done) I find that I am throwing myself head long into other endeavors such as the yoga and writing and I love it. Most of them are healthy....maybe except my increased amount of time playing video games (but hey, that can be a good stress reliever too!)

One good video game I am doing is Dance Central on the Kinect. Some of the dances aren't toooo challenging or intense, but as you move down the song list and bump up the difficulty you can give yourself a decent aerobic workout!.Also you can put on workout mode and it estimates time dancing and calories burned.

Here are vids of people dancing to my 3 of my fave songs to dance to on it (and in my opinion they give GREAT workouts!

Also the video game guy is my favorite character to dance with hehehe. I <3 emo boys :)

LapDance-N.E.R.D.



RumpShaker



and also


Push it



You will NOT  see ME filming myself doing these on my youtube channel though....sorry kids :)

Anyways.. I suppose that is all today. Feeling better now that I am getting in working out. Scale is sort of moving. Though I am not updating til it gets back below 219.8 since that was what I had last recorded (I think).

Have a great weekend! I'll try to do a video update at some point!

Because I have slacked so hard this week...

I've updated pics, vlog AND measurements!

Here we go!

And for even more excitment!

And finally....

So there... :P

HAPPY SUNDAY!

Busy Bee

Sorry my blog has grown a bit quite as of lately. This past 2 weeks I have been doing both jobs full time as well as studying for my Life Insurance exam. (My day job needed me to have it). Luckily I passed the exam so that is at least one thing I can breathe easier about. Training for the second job has been quite grueling, but still enjoyable. I think it is going to be a good part time job for me. I have this week and next week left of training, then the 2 weeks after that is more on the job training (we take calls, they critique etc). After that I will be able to drop my hours hopefully to about 25 a week (though possibly as much as 35).

My weight loss is going well and I continue to see differences in my body. My boobs have shrunk and I can wear some of my smaller bras :). My clothes are getting baggy but I am still super hesitant to buy anything new. I did find a pair of dark blue pants for work at good will (size 18 and a lil stretchy). So no burning of the pants just yet since I still need smaller black pants.

Dietwise I have mostly been behaving. My nieces bday was yesterday and I will admit I had a little bit of ice cream cake. Mainly just the strawberry ice cream and some frosting...I left the actual cake part. It was yummy, no issue and I didn't want any more. Today is back on the straight and narrow, but I don't feel bad about the cake. The rest of my choices were good at my aunts. And guess what? I am now down to 234!!!!

Two more pounds and I will be 40 down from my highest weight! And now... I feel like I can see onederland on the horizon. I was hoping to be under 200 by my birthday in late November, but now I have a feeling I should aim for even less. Maybe 170? That would be the best birthday every. I am not pinning myself to it, but man if I do it I will have lost over 100 lbs total by my birthday. Either way as long as I keep going in the right direction I will be a happy girl.

Unfortunately I havent been exercising like I've wanted to...but working so many hours all I want to do is relax on the weekend. I think once I hit my schedule for that its supposed to be when I start taking calls, it will be easier. Sure I don't get any days off work (if I dont work one job I am working at the other etc). But at least I only have 3 potential days that are going to be extremely long. Out of the rest I am sure I can find time to workout.

Well that's all for now. Not much else going on in my busy little world but I wanted to check in with everyone!

Impending Doom

I feel like today is an I feel fat day. Not sure why. Heck the nightgown I am wearing is a lot bigger than it used to be on me, yet I feel that way. I guess I am scared as Wednesday approaches. I know the numbers on the scale don't mean everything, but it would be nice if they moved. I am so close to cracking into the 230's that its ridiculous.

This weekend has been going well. Aside from having a bit too many carbs yesterday I have been doing better on soft foods as far as getting in a decent amount of protein. Still needing to work on my water intake but I really am trying my hardest on that.

I worked out both Saturday (EA Active 2.0) and Sunday (swimming with the family, but did a few laps too). I plan on probably swimming today as well. I don't think I am going to push myself though, I just want to chill out today.

I am a bit stressed about this coming week as it is, aside from not seeing the numbers on the scale decrease. I start training from home for my second job on Wednesday night. I soundproofed my office as best I could from my dog's barks, so hopefully she isn't any issue. Training is 4pm- 12 AM.

So basically for the next month, while I am training, my weeks are going to be:

Monday-Friday

1st job

7am-3pm

2nd job

4pm-midnight

Weekends:

Collapse from exhaustion.

Luckily pretty much all my food right now is very easy and quick to make so I guess that's good. Robert and Madi know at least for this month they are going to have to worry about their dinner and help me as much as they can around the house because I will be quite busy.

After training in June, then I have Tuesdays and Wednesdays off, BUT I will have to work weekend nights most likely. My availability to them is Thursday-Monday and they will schedule me between 20-35 hours (I am hoping only 20, but hey if they make me work more then its that faster that we can pay off things).

Madi is still looking for a job (hopefully she will have an interview this coming week), but once she finds something we will be able to get our AC fixed and then work on paying off stuff.

Aside from my weight loss goals, I want to work over the next year or so at cutting down our financial obligations, so after we fix our AC the plan is:

• Pay off surgery
• Pay off credit cards (Really don't have much cc debt woohoo)
• Pay off car
• Work on paying down student loans.
• Save Incaseshit money (In case shit happens).

I may be working my ass off this coming year (in more ways than one) but I think long term it will be worth it. Sometimes I do doubt myself. I doubt that I can do this, just like I doubt sometimes that I will reach my goals....but I am just going to push on ahead and hopefully I will get where I want to be and the hard work will pay off.

Also: To my followers on here! I see a couple more on here! Thanks! If I am not following your blog already, comment in the comment section with your blog link so I can follow you :) I love reading fellow wls people's blogs a lot, and many times you guys inspire me.

Moving Moving Moving...

I am feeling less blah today than I have in the past few days. I think it helps that I am moving to soft foods as of tomorrow, but whatever, I am not a grumpy B like I have been the past few days.

Today my coworker and I found another route to walk that has a bit more shade and is just more of a scenic walk. This is day 3 now that we have gone for a walk around lunch time.

I have been tracking us with My Tracks on my Android phone since I love being able to see stats.

Here they are for the day.

• Total Distance: 1.54 km (1.0 mi)
• Total Time: 20:36
• Moving Time: 19:38
• Average Speed: 4.49 km/h (2.8 mi/h)

Not too bad for a start. Back and forth is 1 complete mile, so maybe soon we can get it to 2 miles during lunch.

Either way, right now I don't feel so bad if I don't get another walk in at home. I think for just over 2 weeks post op I am doing fine. Not pushing myself, but still breaking a bit of a sweat.

I wanted to weigh myself so bad this morning when I woke up... but alas the scale has been hidden at my request, so until next Wednesday. I can, however, measure myself when I get home. I have been meaning to. I think I am just afraid I haven't lost that many inches lol. I also need to do a video update. I just don't know what to say I guess.

That's all for now.

Stalled

So I think I can call it official. My weight has been stuck at 244-243.8 for the last 5 days. I am not going to bitch and gripe though even if I am a bit grumpy about it. I had Madi hide the scale while I am still at work so I don't obsess over it during the next week. According to the forums it may not even budge for the next week. Today is 2 weeks since surgery and apparently stalling after about 10 days is not uncommon so I guess I will just suck it up.

Here is what my daily intake consists of at the moment:

• 2 bottles of Isopure @ 1 carb, 170 Calories, 40 grams protein
• At least 44 oz but trying to push it to 64 or higher (my goal is 88oz)
• 1 cup of soup at night (last night was a cup of Chicken, broccoli cheese and potato)
• 1 SF chocolate pudding.

TOTALS:

• 590 calories
• 14 grams of fat
• 30 grams of carbs
• 87 grams of protein.

Also taking 1 Centrum Silver chewable multivitamin, 500 mcg b12 sublingual and 20 mg prilosec 2 x a day. I know I need to get in my calcium pill but it isn't chewable and I am afraid to start taking it because even though the container says petites, they look HUGE.

Yesterday I walked about .75 miles.
Today I have already walked 1 mile.


Thats all for now

Nightmares & Cupcakes

I haven't been sleeping well.

I swear since this weekend I have had one strange and unsettling dream after the other. Last night's took the cake...literally.

I had a dream that Robert, Madi and Me were going out to eat and people kept trying to give me cupcakes. A few times I almost gave in and ate one but then Robert would take it away and give it to Madi. I would get upset but then I realized "oh yea, I had surgery! I can't have that!"

LOL

Yes, evil cupcakes. Not much else to report. Doing my best to deal with stress and emotions in more healthy ways. I downloaded an app on my phone (android) called My Tracks. It uses google maps to track my walking, including distance, speed, and elevation. Madi helped me find my workout sneakers, so I am excited to go for a walk today and track my progress. Afterwards I think I will spend some time either working on my first draft of my book I am writing, or work on my drawing. Thinking positive, positive, positive.

Downer Day

Blah.


That's how I feel today. Slightly moody. Maybe like everyone says its just hormones being released from the fat they were previously trapped in. Also I am back in the office today and while I am happy to see most people here I just feel annoyed by others. No negative surgery comments however which is nice.

I wish I could go back home though. I guess since I can't eat away these feelings any longer I am going to try and take a relaxing walk tonight once the sun goes down so it isn't too hot out. The heat really makes my incisions itchy and irritated.

I have other stuff on my mind too, like a horrible stupid dream I had the other night that just kind of messed with me a little too much and hit close to home. Also I didn't mention (because I was in a good mood and didn't want to talk about it) but on saturday I got into a minor car accident. Thank Goodness I didnt get ticketed...the cop must have been in a good mood. And the people are willing to work with me instead of going through insurance (my car got wayyyyy more damage anyways -_- ). But nonetheless still sucks. I guess I am off my island of solitude and the real world is hitting full force and I just don't want to deal with it right now.

Anyways..things will work out...they always do. At the very least I keep telling myself that and things really do seem to have a way of working out if I put in a little effort. I got my credit check back and everything looks good for me to start the second job...so there is that...

but now comes the next hurdle. Getting Robert's car fixed and making sure there is a way for me to keep lainey from barking while I am working. My uncle gave me some ideas to sound proof my home office for less and I will probably invest in a better noise canceling headset. But it all takes money.

That's all for now. Just breathing, making myself drink my protein and water, and reminding myself that what I am going through is probably a normal part of this process. I did my make up today and painted my nails last night, so trying to tell myself today that I look very pretty. People at work have been saying they can already see a big difference. For me looking in the mirror I may as well be in a fun house because some days I see it and some days I really don't.

Rapture Day & Family Time

So I am still here... I suppose I am a heathen hehe. Sorry I just had to.

I did happen to see a shirt in the parking lot of 7-11 and amused myself with the thought that maybe they were raptured...but then I was confused as to why they weren't apparently wearing pants when they were...

Anyways on to wls-related things. Today was a day surrounded by food I couldn't eat as I went to my aunt's for my nephew's 10th birthday! He was quite excited about hitting double digits. It went better than I thought. I did smell the burgers my uncle cooked out on the grill but wasn't tempted by them. I brought over protein, a cup of soup and a sf chocolate pudding for when everyone had cake. Speaking of my protein, I ended up going to back to GNC and getting more Green Tea Isopure. I tried to do the protein shakes I had gotten from wal-mart pre-op, but wouldn't you know it.... I found them repulsive (I almost puked) as well as I found it hard to keep the carbs at level I wanted.

So right now I am doing 1-2 bottles of Isopure per day, 1 cup of soup, and maybe a sf pudding if I feel like it. That would put me at roughly 37 carbs , and 40-80 grams of protein. Once I hit soft foods next week I plan to incorporate tuna, ricotta and the like and maybe have 1 isopure a day. I got the gold card at GNC so that when I get them it is a little cheaper. For now I really like them and I am a creature of habit. I rather be able to have some soup and some pudding right now without it blowing up the amount of carbs I take in.

Physically I am feeling nearly back to normal except that my larger incision is still kind of achey and red. It doesn't appear to be infected and I have kept it clean. I am a slow healer so this doesn't surprise me. The rest of them are just scabbed now and no pain. I am ready to get more physically active so slightly frustrated I need to wait about 3 more weeks. I suppose though I can just keep increasing walking and maybe try out some exercises on EA Active 2.0 on easy mode. I need to find my workout sneakers though first and foremost.

That's all for now, 1 more day being at home and then I return to the office! Excited to see some of my work buddies. Also I recieved the report back regarding my background and credit check for the other job and it looks like all things should be a go for me to start that on June 1st. I am pretty excited about it, though now we have to get Robert's car fixed because juggling one car is going to be impossible as my hours will completely clash with his. We also now need to figure out a system for when he gets home so that Lainey doesn't bark while I am on a call. (That will get me fired.).

Any good sound-proofing ideas? :)

The Post Op Excitement Continues

I know, I know! I am in the honeymoon stage with my sleeve. It is fine I am enjoying it and staying compliant. Keeping an eye on my intake and all that jazz. Now that I feel better able to drink stuff I am getting a bit more protein in. About 80 grams a day...and WOW has it made a difference. Or at least I think it has.

Today I am sitting pretty at 246.8lbs! I can see the 230's in the not so far distance! When I was on Medifast, that was actually where I started my Medifast journey...at 230.

So hey, at least I will have gotten rid of the 42 lbs over that I had gained over that number. I added another ticker to my progress page so yo can see my total loss as well as my loss since the surgery.

Today starts my full liquids! YAYYYY! I had a chocolate protein shake this morning, which with nonfat milk puts me at 34 gm of protein already. I plan on having a blended cup of soup (if I can eat the whole cup, if not I will save some for later) for lunch and another shake tonight. I should be close to if not at 80 grams of protein for the day. My carbs will be around 52 for the day, which is pretty much like my pre op diet I suppose and a lil higher than I'd like, but it's only for this week. That should be fine, right? Once I move to soft foods I think it will be a bit easier to cut out carbs and keep them around 30 a day.

I got a blender at wal-mart last night... a knock off magic bullet called the rocket blender. So far so good and it has multiple cups etc. My only complaint is that the storage lids are not water tight :( It would have been nice to be able to make a shake in the morning and one for lunch since I return to work Monday. Alas maybe I will just bring in soup for lunch. and do the shake at night.

Also I have a new addition to our household. I had been planning on getting a pet snake for a while now but Robert didn't want me getting it til after surgery because if something happened, he was freaked out at the thought of having to take care of it. So I got her this week.
Meet Harley Quinn (named after the villainess on Batman!) She is a hatchling hypomelanistic corn snake and is about 17 inches long! Sorry if you don't like reptiles or snakes...but she is actually pretty sweet and great being handled. I fell in love with her colors at first site. She is my "I got through the surgery like a big girl" reward I suppose.

Also another exciting revelation happened this week. I got a phone call from another work at home call center type job that they wanted to interview me. The interview went great and pending my credit check meeting their requirements (since I will be handling credit cards and payments etc) I am going to be employed by them part time. They pay hourly and there isn't any selling involved so this is a much better opportunity than the other work from home job I have been doing. I get paid regardless of if I get a call and they even offer benefits. If they are better than my current job I may have to switch over. I already know they have a matching 401k where my full time job doesn't. (lame I know...)

So...wish me luck...send me some good vibes and hope that I am able to meet their credit requirements!I am pretty excited about it but trying not to get my hopes up. I am pretty sure I should be fine but...not positive lol.

What A Week!

Wow, I am already one week post-op! I can't believe it. And what's the grand total for the week?

8.4 lbs Down!

Not too shabby at all! Add in that I have in fact lost inches and feel just less fluffy in general and its been a good week. I am going to try and up my protein to see if I can't do a little bit more this week! Almost out of my clear liquids...YAY!!!!!! I am so ready for some cream of chicken soup or even just a protein shake. I will probably go get a single serve blender from wal-mart tomorrow.

So this past week I have been drinking liquid Isopure. Some people love it, some people hate it, and some just tolerate it. I personally found a flavor I love! GREEN TEA! It is so yum! To me, anyways, it reminds me a little of Arizona Green Tea. The other flavors I got, it was a chore trying to drink the whole bottle. Having the green tea flavor yesterday I had gotten in 40 grams before noon!

I am returning the last 2 of the other flavor for green tea either today or tomorrow. I can see even down the line ordering a case of the green tea and having them here and there when I am on the go. Zero carb and a yummy way to get in your protein. I have some other stuff to share but I will save that for another post so this one doesn't get too long. See you all tomorrow!

The status Quo...

Paperwork has been submitted to financing. I am working with Beliteweight with coordinating surgery and using their in house financing. They gave me the thumbs up and said everything is looking good with it.

Completed medical questionnaire and it is waiting approval from the doctor.

Tentatively it appears surgery will be on May 11th, barring any issues popping up. (I am knocking on wood). Excited to get info regarding the pre-op diet etc.

My husband, while supportive is still a bit nervous because I suppose he didn't expect that we would be able to get this process moving as fast as it is moving. He asked me to check in with my primary care doctor and to make him feel better I will. I am hesitant about getting "their opinion" as I am worried that as soon as I say my surgeon is out of the country it will turn completely negative. I might try discussing the surgery and trying to get their "opinion" before saying...oh by the way my surgeon is in Mexico. But it is important to set up some post op follow up with my own doctor I think. As long as she is on board.

My doctors office is heavily trying to push the HCG diet on patients and I am sorry but injecting or taking extra hormones isn't necessarily any better than removing part of my stomach, so I do not want to hear their pitch on it again as a alternative to surgery. My mind is made up, and while I have done tons of research I continue to do more, and it only further convinces me that this is the right decision for myself.

That's all for now