Reporting from the Other Side

Well I got sleeved yesterday, later in the afternoon. Last night was pretty rough for me. Didn't throw up, but felt like I would. Today has been better. I still have some gas pain but am getting there... walking lots, doing my breathing exercise, taking my gas-x strips annnd I got my cup of ice chips. Though honestly I am not feeling hungry at all.

Will give a bigger update probably from the hotel tomorrow. So far so good.

Big Changes

What do you think of the new look of the blog? I need to take out that flower petal bit in the banner but otherwise I am pretty happy with how it came out. I thought as I am getting ready to go into surgery--- a big change in my life-- why not change things up on the blog as well? l am decent when it comes to photoshop skills.

I am currently at work. It is quiet and there are not many people here. I was hoping the laptop they are lending me for the week after surgery would be done already so I could just do this from home today. Oh well. Going to see the family after work one last time before Mexico. I know they are still very much freaked out, but not sure if I will deal with any more drama from them today. I am hoping not.

I have been pretty good about water the past few days, and in preparation for surgery I have been upping it further. Yep! I went and got a new Hangover Part 2 Super big gulp cup lol. My brother actually looks and acts a lot like Zach Galifinakis' character so... I HAD to get the cup. Not to mention one of those cups is roughtly half a day's water. My goal right now is 3 of these (roughly 132 oz of water and half my weight in oz). Also doing my best to avoid soda. It's time for me to say goodbye. I have been avoiding it.

Nearly everything I need to pack is packed. I am ready to go for the most part. I am hesitant to leave my husband for 4 days, as that's the longest we will have ever been apart. (I know I am a baby...sue me!). He can be hard to read sometimes so I am not sure how he is feeling during all of this but amidst all the excitement I don't want to push side any of his thoughts and worries.

The other night he said something that came off mean. He and I both had a rough day and I just wanted to be able to cuddle up to him. I said "we only have a few more days til I am leaving and having major surgery that does have some risks involved." He told me "But its still an elective procedure", which yes is definitely true...but in some ways I feel like no...actually it isn't because each day I stay the same...or worse GET BIGGER, my health only worsens. He has seen me on some of my worst days. He knows how horrible I can feel sometimes. So when he said that and it came off very non-chalant, it hurt my feelings.

As I always do, I closed up and went and laid down on the couch and just got very quiet. We talked about it later and he explained he meant that "he knows I'll do fine and he isn't worried". Okay...thats more acceptable. I am glad if he has faith that things will be alright and I will come through surgery just fine. I have that belief too, and I feel that if you fill your head with positivity like that, sometimes it can help tremendously.

Still though I am going to be sad when I have to say goodbye at the airport. I love him so much. Through all these changes I may go through over the next year, I am dearly afraid that our relationship may be one of those things. At the very least I hope that whatever changes come to my marriage are good ones. He has been very supportive and very loving... I don't want to lose that in the mist of finding myself.

Magical BBQ

First off I did not cheat! I counted in the carbs for my dinner last night. I got pulled pork and chicken from Sonny's last night, but instead of getting bread etc, i got broccoli and green beans. My weight hadn't been moving since last Tuesday, and I was a tad bummed because I have really been trying to hit 10 lbs down before surgery. Well I dropped 1 more lb since yesterday hehe..

so...magical bbq

Just kidding...but seriously!

Will be posting my last pre op vlog shortly (it is uploading now). Today was the only free time I had. I also did all my measurements today and need to do pre op pics here shortly. I think I will just do those the day of surgery though.

Ran to the bank and got the money etc out that I will need for Mexico, so I will be packing just about everything today (with the exception of my toothbrush pretty much.) I don't know that this all has truly sunk in yet... it still feels like a dream. I can't even fathom the changes that will take place for me over the next year. It is truly truly exciting and I feel very lucky to have been afforded this chance to turn things around.

I swear to you this is not meant to be melodramatic, but the day I found out my financing was approved for surgery, was a day I realized I had hope again. Maria off of OH (her blog is Formerly Fluffy) made a great post a few days back asking :

"Did obesity cause you to give up on dreams?"

Simply put yes.

I gave up on dance classes that I loved

I gave up on going horseback riding again

I gave up on ever looking good in clothes.

I gave up on enjoying the beaches anymore

I gave up on feeling truly beautiful

I gave up on myself.

Although none of this feels real right now I feel like I have gained some hope back and some of my old dreams may ressurrect themselves. I feel like this year is finally the year I truly become me and spread my wings.

I will take back my health

I will let myself feel beautiful.

I will enjoy trying on clothes again

I will go to the beach

I will let my creativity overflow

I will create something beautiful.

I will fall in love with myself after 26 long years.

What about you? What will you do after surgery? If post-op, what good things have you done for yourself? What dreams will you rekindle?

Here we go..

So Even though my surgery is 2 weeks from TOMORROW, I decided to start on my pre-op diet today. I just felt like it was time to truly buckle down. So far so good. Here is what is going on today.

Breakfast:
1 scoop of Body Fortress Chocolate Whey protein
1 cup 1% Milk
Total Carbs: 16
Total protien: 34

Lunch:
Atkin's Advantage Milk Chocolate Delight Shake
Total Carbs: 5
Total protien: 15

Dinner Plans:
8 oz Chicken breast (boneless skinless)
Can of spinach
Total Carbs: 8 (approx...gotta check when i get home)
Total protien: 46

Puts me well within my Carb limit of 40-50 Max (im at approx 29gms)
Protien total is 95gms
Calories are approx 862

Hoping to see a decent loss in the next 2 weeks as most my days will look just like this (maybe an egg added in here or there I think).

Not much else to report really, I'm boring right now :P

Set in stone... kind of

So the medical questionnaire was approved and my date is set. So I will have my Gastric Sleeve done on...

*drumroll*

May 11th
(3 months, 3 weeks, and a day away)

So many emotions are running through me right now from excited and anxious to nervous and slightly scared of the unknowns, but I know I set out on this journey for a reason. Most my friends and relatives think I am stupid for doing this but I have faith that it will all work out. I feel that if things weren't meant to happen and I wasn't MEANT to have the surgery, then stuff would not be lining up and working out as it is right now.

Overall I am very excited and for the first time in a long time I feel hope about becoming healthier and no longer being a fat girl.

That's all for now!

Jenn

The status Quo...

Paperwork has been submitted to financing. I am working with Beliteweight with coordinating surgery and using their in house financing. They gave me the thumbs up and said everything is looking good with it.

Completed medical questionnaire and it is waiting approval from the doctor.

Tentatively it appears surgery will be on May 11th, barring any issues popping up. (I am knocking on wood). Excited to get info regarding the pre-op diet etc.

My husband, while supportive is still a bit nervous because I suppose he didn't expect that we would be able to get this process moving as fast as it is moving. He asked me to check in with my primary care doctor and to make him feel better I will. I am hesitant about getting "their opinion" as I am worried that as soon as I say my surgeon is out of the country it will turn completely negative. I might try discussing the surgery and trying to get their "opinion" before saying...oh by the way my surgeon is in Mexico. But it is important to set up some post op follow up with my own doctor I think. As long as she is on board.

My doctors office is heavily trying to push the HCG diet on patients and I am sorry but injecting or taking extra hormones isn't necessarily any better than removing part of my stomach, so I do not want to hear their pitch on it again as a alternative to surgery. My mind is made up, and while I have done tons of research I continue to do more, and it only further convinces me that this is the right decision for myself.

That's all for now