Wednesday, March 2, 2011

My Reasons

To me it seems like there isn't just one thing that drives someone to take such a drastic step toward weight loss surgery....for most people it is something that built up slowly over time until that last thing finally made them snap...made them say I cannot keep going this way. Like other people I always thought that weight loss surgery was "the easy way out"... when I was on Medifast I thought I had finally figured it all out, afterall I lost over 60 lbs! I had been on cloud 9!

But then the weight came creeping back, and then more issues came with it...and I finally snapped. But this has been a long time I thought I would share all those fun little memories of why I finally made this decision, starting from the oldest, to the more recent.

-No longer fitting into size 10s (probably was about 16 then)
-No longer fitting into size 12's (still 16)
-no longer fitting into size 14's (17)
-No longer fitting into size 16's (18...after my dad died)
-those keep going....
-Seeing 200+ on the scale
-Seeing it again after getting nearly 40 below it
-Being asked when my baby was due
-Not being asked but able to tell that an old friend was wondering if I was pregnant after they ran into me a target
-Avoiding the beach like the plague...even though I love the beach :(
-Hearing my mother and aunt fight about the fact that I'd gained 20 lbs since buying my wedding dress and whether or not it would fit me... (it did btw seeing as it was corset back...they really could have kept their mouths shut)
-Realizing I dont really have a neck again...
-Always feeling short of breath lately...just after walking a short distance
-Having someone ask me about my younger sister when they see pics of me after I had lost weight on Medifast (and subsequently NOT believing those are actually pics of me)
-A coworker asking why I let myself go so far...
-Seeing old pics of me when I thought I was "Huge" and realizing I wasn't and didn't appreciate myself then...and now I am actually as big as I felt when I was those sizes.
-Running into people I havent seen in a while and them seeing how big I have gotten...
-My in laws seeing me getting bigger and bigger with each visit yet still ALWAYS on a diet.
-realizing that I look much older at a heavier weight...
-Getting knee, leg, back pain...etc
-getting rashes under my boobs, tummy, and around my upper thighs...(yeah gross...but we know this happens) :(
-Not fitting into any nice clothes anymore...owning 2 closets worth of clothing that I cannot wear.
-Seeing the scale finally tip past 250 and realizing I am closer to hitting 300 than I am at going back to 200.
-Being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.
-Hearing my husband tell me he is scared I won't be around because I will get sick and die young...

So on days when I second guess my decision...I think about all this...and you know what? I KNOW I am making the right choice...because I don't want to have to add another reason any more.

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