Saturday, May 7, 2011

Magical BBQ

First off I did not cheat! I counted in the carbs for my dinner last night. I got pulled pork and chicken from Sonny's last night, but instead of getting bread etc, i got broccoli and green beans. My weight hadn't been moving since last Tuesday, and I was a tad bummed because I have really been trying to hit 10 lbs down before surgery. Well I dropped 1 more lb since yesterday hehe..

so...magical bbq

Just kidding...but seriously!

Will be posting my last pre op vlog shortly (it is uploading now). Today was the only free time I had. I also did all my measurements today and need to do pre op pics here shortly. I think I will just do those the day of surgery though.

Ran to the bank and got the money etc out that I will need for Mexico, so I will be packing just about everything today (with the exception of my toothbrush pretty much.) I don't know that this all has truly sunk in yet... it still feels like a dream. I can't even fathom the changes that will take place for me over the next year. It is truly truly exciting and I feel very lucky to have been afforded this chance to turn things around.

I swear to you this is not meant to be melodramatic, but the day I found out my financing was approved for surgery, was a day I realized I had hope again. Maria off of OH (her blog is Formerly Fluffy) made a great post a few days back asking :

"Did obesity cause you to give up on dreams?"

Simply put yes.

I gave up on dance classes that I loved
I gave up on going horseback riding again
I gave up on ever looking good in clothes.
I gave up on enjoying the beaches anymore
I gave up on feeling truly beautiful
I gave up on myself.

Although none of this feels real right now I feel like I have gained some hope back and some of my old dreams may ressurrect themselves. I feel like this year is finally the year I truly become me and spread my wings.

I will take back my health
I will let myself feel beautiful.
I will enjoy trying on clothes again
I will go to the beach
I will let my creativity overflow
I will create something beautiful.
I will fall in love with myself after 26 long years.

What about you? What will you do after surgery? If post-op, what good things have you done for yourself? What dreams will you rekindle?

2 comments: said...

Oh! You're gonna make me tear up. This was beautifully written. You will get your dreams back....and more.

Jenn said...

*hugs* LOL I felt teary eyed after writing it. It is kind of crazy to have some of these realizations. After having the mindset for so long that we will NEVER lose this weight and just stay is so surreal to realize that may not be true afterall!